Big Spoon = Quiet Dinner

At dinner Mike played a trick on Emma.  She asked for a spoon and he brought her a large wooden spoon just to be silly. Turned out to be spectaular. She thought it was hilarious and we never once had to tell her "eat your dinner!"

Lesson learned: next time your kids are wearing you out at dinner, give them something silly to eat with!

Rock-a-baby

It's 11:09pm in the Stout home, everyone except me has been in bed a few hours now.  A moment ago Harry randomly woke up and started crying, so I rocked him.  He fell asleep and I kept rocking and rocking and rocking. He would have been fine to put back to bed after just a wee moment of love...but that little stinkbut is so intoxicating to me I just had to take advantage of the free snuggle time. While I was holding him all I could think about was how much I love the smell of sweaty hair, dried snot, dragon breath, and hot pee. I know I know GROOOSSS, but the upside is, it means I have a baby sleeping on my chest and that my friend is the greatest feeling EVER! Somehow the good Lord guarded my nose and just let me adore every ittybitty inch of my son in that sweet moment in time.
Now that moment is gone, but trapped in my heart forever.
I'm going to bed and all I can think about is how much I want to smell dried snot.
Goodnight

A letter I'd like to send,,,but won't

To whom it may concern at my OB-GYN's office.
     Please stop selling my name. I get that you probably get quit a few perks from this business, and most of the time I too enjoy the perks. However this time is different. I have been perpetually getting formula for 5 years because eveytime I get pregnant, you put me on "free crap and promotional junk mail I don't want" list.  While you may think this is a lovely list to be on, I beg to differ.  Please take a moment to pull my medical file from the shelf....I'll wait...okay got it? Now open it up,,,, and count how many times i have had a miscarriage. Whoa I bet your ran out of fingers. What you have failed to do is take me off of your "free crap and promotional junk mail I don't want" list when this unfortunate event occurs.  This results in me getting lots of  painful reminders that I don't have a baby.  And thanks to the thoughtfulness of the baby company's, they send me all these reminders about 8 months from my miscarriage. Just when I have put it behind me and moved on. Geee i'm a lucky girl, and my poor husband, OIY! He has to put up with a roller coaster of emotions from me for about a week. So please, take me off you list.
Sincerely,
Shelly
 
List of items I DON'T need because I DON'T have a baby right now:

 
The art of Feeding Booklet

Two cans of formula

A letter welcoming baby

$20.00 of formula coupons

Dad's survival guide

I will be giving the formula to a friend, but if anyone can use the coupons let me know. I'll be happy 

to send them to you, just Email Me

 +++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

Looking for the GIVEAWAY? It's over HERE!

Quotes to Live By

"Smile with your face mom, not the camera" Emma, age 3

"This isn't the zoo!" Husband

"When your hubby never tells you what he wants, sometimes he gets what he doesn't want." Gina Entz

"Forget about what people think and do what works for you" Tyler Ramsey

"Instead of following my dreams, I'm just going to ask them where they are going and catch up with them later" Mitch Hedberg

"Justh ignore them Iris" Ira, Friendship Fields

"Cupcakes are the Devil" Abby, A Feathered Nest

"it's POOP!" My Momma

 

"But I don't want to use my time wisely" Anna Marie Horner

(referring to Jersey Shore) "I can't get enough of those charming little tool bags" Emily Santos-Silva

WOW! I get to give birth AND change diapers! Anne Taintor

Too much chatter for talk

Dear Talk Radio Shows, I want to thank you for your years of service to me during my morning commute to work. I loved you so much. You made me laugh, feel inspired, and I looked forward to our daily time together. However the times are a changin'. I can no longer get a moments worth of silence into my day and I have come to loath your very existence. I now have a 4yr old who feels the need to chatter constantly. I have too much chatter in my life for talk. When the two of you are going on and on at the same time I think my head might explode. So, Talk Radio Shows,,, I have to say goodbye. Maybe I will catch up with you in the future. For now I am going to hang onto my sanity and listen to just the chatter, and perhaps a little background music. Oh and if you could tell your friend Radio Commercial to quiet down, that would be spectacular. Much Love, Shelly

Do you have a Button?

Lately it seems like everything in my daughters world is a level 5 EMERGENCY worthy of a complete melt down. I'm talking simple everyday things. Here are a few example of phrases I am hoping to change:

"I don't have a drink, waa"................"May I please have a drink?" "I can't find the toy waa"........................"Can you please help me?" "I don't have a snack waa!"..............."May I please have a snack?" "Harry STOP IT, NO waa" ...."Can you please make Harry stop?" I decided to make a Happy/Grumpy Button. Basically every time she asks me a question/whines for something, I'm going to pull out the button. If she has not asked politely, she will be shown the Grumpy face and be allowed to ask her question again, using her happy face. Hopefully after a few days she will only get the happy faces. Find two random pieces of paper Trace and cut our circles in you size preference Draw your Happy and Grumpy faces Sandwich an old magnet piece in between Cover with clear packing tape on both sides and trim VOILA! Your done!

Wishing you a peaceful home, -S

Block Bag SCARE

My daughter came to me this morning coughing and gagging, because her block bag was around her NECK! EEEk I freaked out. I was less then 15 feet from her and this happened. I immediately cut the draw string out and threw it in the trash! I could have just dumped the blocks into the toy box, but what fun is that,,,,so I made her a new block bag, with NO DRAW STRING! An easy fix would have been to just thread some elastic through the existing casing, but if I was going to change it, I wanted it to be pretty. Plus my daughter loves toting them around by the before mentioned drawstring, so I knew I needed a handle. Annnnyywho, here is what I came up with. I just laid out the existing bag and made a case for it, a Velcro closure, and nice SHORT and wide strap.

From one momma to another

Please, if you have a bag like this, take out the drawstring!

Ghost Toast

I put a status on my facebook the other day about Ghost Toast. The response was unanimous and LOUD. Everyone wanted to know what Ghost Toast was. Say WHA??? I thought everyone ate this stuff. Turns out I had a really creative Momma growing up and she made the everyday a holiday. Around Halloween we would have this treat for breakfast. I was so excited to give it to my daughter for the first time. I love passing my childhood traditions on to my kids. So, here's what Ghost Toast is all about. It's buttered toast with powdered sugar on top, and chocolate chips for the eyes.

So make the everyday a holiday with this special treat!

Princess leia

Okay so my daughter has never seen Star Wars or anything even close. However she must be honing her Princess Leia Persona today. She demanded braids that were tucked under for her hair do. Then to make matters worse, when I tried to put pink bows in her hair to match her pink shirt, she flipped out and demanded her sparkly gold bows.

I'm not sure if I have a future Diva on my hands or a Star Wars fanatic. Either way, LORD HELP ME!

Bad Idea Machine

Someone is putting quarters in the "Bad Idea Machine" again. Man, I thought we got rid of that thing,,,,hmmm my husband must have hid it in the garage behind his childhood hockey crap. Knowing full well, I would never look there! But, alas there it was this morning, sitting in my basement, right in the middle of the floor. And wouldn't ya know, he left for work, leaving my kids with free run of the "Bad Idea Machine". Dear Husband, I know you think it's a good idea to leave your weights in the middle of the floor because you will use them tomorrow too.....however this is a BAD IDEA! Resulting in, pinched fingers, stubbed toes and sore arms from having to lug them away. Love, Sore Armed Wife Dear Harry, I know you think it is a good idea to drink milk at 5:30am.....however this is a BAD IDEA! Please know that we your parents love you, but man we're tired. Love, Exhausted Mom & Dad Dear Emma, I know you think it's a good idea to play dress up, by stripping down to you skivvies and taking your hair down....However when this occurs 2.5 minutes before we leave to run errands it is a BAD IDEA! Love, On a Time Crunch Momma Dear Mother-in-Law I know you thought it was a good idea to get my daughter a microphone because she likes to entertain us all so much,,,however this is a BAD IDEA resulting in the amplification of ALL noises in my house. Love, Needing ear plugs and aspirin Dear Harry, I know you think it's a good idea to smash crackers on the kitchen floor,,,,however, this is a BAD IDEA. Love, Tired of being a Maid Momma Emma, I know you think it's a good idea to take all the Tupperware out of the cabinet so we can put the clean dishes away,,,,,,,,this is a BAD IDEA. They will all fit without you taking them all out. Thanks for the "help" Love, Tired of double the work Momma

I'm a Super Smartie!

So my 3yr old has been driving me a little nuttos lately. She asks "Why Momma?" about a hundred times an hour! This morning, as I was relishing in the joy of having two children......no wait, scratch that and lets try again. This morning as I was going crazy from all the questions, I knew I had to find a solution. So, I asked Emma if she wanted "Special Closed Door Time". She isn't allowed to close her bedroom door, because she does it with such force that I know she would chop of Harry's tiny little fingers if she did. So, I got out an alarm clock and set it for 10 minutes. I stated that once the buzzer went off she had to open the door. I also told her that if she did anything naughty, she would never get "Special Closed Door Time" again. Well, it worked! She played so well, that even after the door was opened, she kept playing. THIS IS GREAT NEWS FOR ME! This was a huge accomplishment for Emma because she hates playing by herself. I was so proud of her and can't wait to try it again tomorrow.....perhaps for 15 minutes :) I olny wish I could have a peephole in her door to see what she was doing.

************************************** I put Harry in the Exersaucer to watch Dora, and I actually got my hair and Make-up done in peace!

This is what I found when I went to get her. She had made a bed for all her babies. Sooo sweet!

Toy Round UP!

IF YOU SEE THESE TOYS: BEWARE, THEY ARE ARMED AND ANNOYING!

CHARGE: Runaway VERDICT: GUILTY Mr. Hammer Toy has runaway from his tool box home to pursue a life in the TV bashing industry. He is known for his banging and bashing abilities. He may seek work in construction. (may be wearing a disguise and posing as a Mexican)

CHARGE: Vandalism VERDICT: GUILTY Miss Baby Stroller is guilty of vandalizing my home. She is know for her artistic marks on my walls. She may seek work in the demolition industry. (be advised :suspect is very fast and may be on the move)

CHARGE: Public Disturbance VERDICT: GUILTY La Guitara is a violently annoying toy. Most likely to be found in a bar using the pick up line "I play my guitar, who will sing in my band?" Is fluent in both English and Spanish.

CHARGE: Reckless Abandoment VERDICT: GUILTY Funny Farm has abandoned it's Duck, thus leaving the sensor exposed to light. Funny Farm is not so funny at 2:00 am when the sensor is going off because the duck is missing. +++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++ If you see any of these toys, please be advised: These toys are extremely addicting to children and extremely annoying to adults.

Being Cheap is the mother of all inventions!

Emma needed a super cape, and as most momma's do, I got to work creating. Necessity is the Mother of all Inventions. Well, Okay so I didn't invent the cape, I'm just too cheap to go buy one. So maybe that statement should be "Necessity and being cheap is the mother of all inventions" I couldn't bare to watch her run up and down the hall with her brothers blankets anymore. So on about the 319th time Emma asked for a cape, I delivered. She now ZOOOMS proudly around. I can even get her to help with chores more...."Emma, can you zoom theses dishes to the sink?" "Sure Momma, ZOOOM!" Yes she makes the noise.

Pamper Your Piggies

We had a really girly party yesterday morning. Emma and I invited all of our friends over for a pedicure party. We had a lovely brunch and painted our piggies.

The girls went nuts for their pedicures. Three of the girls had never had their toenails painted.

I made each of the little girls a glamor stash.

tired, dirty, hungry,,,,,,,,,,,BLESSED!

The pantry is bare,

My kids have full bellies.

The bathtub is dirty, My kiddos are clean. The furniture is worn, My kids have refuge in this home. The laundry is piled high, My kids have clothing. The gas tank is empty, My kids have seen the world. The bank account is low, I get to stay home with my kids. The beds are unmade, My house is a mess, but all of this reminds me I AM BLESSED!

Tigers go RRRRrrrrrrRR!

After we finished our summer reading program at the library, I felt a little lost. The program was providing our summer with some structure. Hmmm what could I do to fill our days with fun and learning? I wanted to make good use our our zoo membership, so I came up with the idea to do an animal theme week. This past week we learned all about TIGERS!

We read tiger books. We made tiger masks!

This is the face we make when we are scared of the tigers.

This is the face the tiger makes if he wants to scare us

We made a tiger sticker!

Water from a tiger cup is far superior to water in a regular cup.

We visited the tigers at the zoo!

We had a lot of fun doing these activities this past week. She had requested we do Penguin week next.

Purble Indrumists

Ladies and Gentleman, I have the distinct privileged of introducing you to the newest, officially done, member of the Summer Reading Program.......... MISS EMMA! Okay that may be a tad dramatic, but in our house it has been a huge deal. All summer we have been keeping track and writing down all the books we read. Emma knew one of the prizes was some "purble indrumists" and boy did that motivate her. We reached our goal and claimed our prizes! Her completed reading list! Great job baby! Emma and Harry got to put their stars on the window. Even now as I type this and look at the picture, I can feel her pride.

Harry was there too, and thrilled to pieces to eat a graham cracker through the whole thing.

Thank you to everyone who read to my children here at our home, at your home, and over the phone. We couldn't have done it without you!

Pregnant or Not so Pregnant?

Okay so I haven't blogged in a while. I have been basking in the Summer Sun, eating Popsicle, and spending lots of time with the family. Today when I was sitting pool side soaking up some rays I saw a woman with a really cute swim suit. As I was looking at the suit she turn to the side and UGH! I couldn't tell if she was Pregnant or just over weight. Now thats the type of inspiration I need to loose a few pounds. I was always proud of the way I looked pregnant, but i'm not pregnant so that look doesn't suit me anymore. Skinny High School girls can parade around me all they want and it doesn't bother me. I'm fairly proud of my body, after all it has made two children for me. But, OMG I sooo hope nobody looks at me and wonders if I'm pregnant, because I'M NOT PREGNANT! Mybe I should make a sign to wear around my neck??? Nah I'll just do a few extra crunches! PS: to the woman in the suit: If you are preggers, Congrats! If you are not,,, well thank you for the wake up call.

"Hi my name is Shelly, and I'm addicted to Facebook"

My lovely blogger friend Alyssa posted an interesting blog about facebook this morning and it got me thinking, yea I'm addicted to Facebook, and I don't care who knows it. Okay addicted is not a strong enough word! As I am writing this blog I have two windows open on my computer, Blogger and Facebook. It is the first thing I check in the morning and anytime throughout the day when I get 5mins. Ialso probably say "google it" about ten times a day. Oh, and I also "think in tweet" I think for us stay at home mommas it's a way for us to stay in touch with reality and take a break from sippy cups and dirty diapers. I would be lost if I couldn't find out "whats on your mind". I wonder if some day there will be a "Facebook Anonymous"? "Hi my name is Shelly and I'm addicted to facebook"

UP and AWAY

Today we had girls day out! We hired a babysitter for Harry and hit the town. We had a lovely lunch outside, and then went to the movies. We saw UP in 3D!

Emma is explaining to me about all the candy she "needs"